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    May 29

    if I could go ...HOME

         周六的时候天气很阴,心情象一种死循环,背着一种永远无法摆脱的伤,打电话给妈妈的时候,一直和她说笑,突然妈妈就问是不是不高兴,有什么事就告诉她。我当时吓了一跳,用了更开心的语气不停的说没有没有。妈妈才没有继续问下去,只是挂电话的时候不停的嘱咐我要开心要开心。 我不知道为什么妈妈永远能知道我到底在想什么,即使隔着那么远的地方,即使只是在电话里,她一下子就能猜中我心里最需要坚强的地方。
        周日的时候疯狂的想家,想回家,虽然听着陶喆的歌,还在和朋友开玩笑说我没有家,说出来的那一刻,突然眼泪也有一点忍不住。我一个人在阳台上看风景,阳光时有时无的照在脸上,有轻微的风。看云的时候我突然觉得7000公里是那么的遥远。 想起大学的时候,考试前有过一次突然想回家的心情,于是买了车票,什么也没拿就回去了,住了3天,和妈妈睡了三天,回去的时候心已经平静了。曾经以为自己永远是迫不及待的要离开家的,曾经以为自己是足够坚强的那种翅膀长硬了的人,曾经以为可以头也不回的离开家,是我变得有些依赖,有些空虚,还是我原本就没发现心里面最坚硬的的地方是随时可以回家。
        只是想回家,想变成原来那个只会笑的自己,即使只有短短的一会,想妈妈什么也不问,会永远相信我,陪着我,让我可以有个安全的地方整理一些伤。发现世界上最重要的人只有爸爸妈妈。
        我在阳台上一个人笑,一个人哭,第一次做了我以为一辈子都讨厌的事。风吹干了泪,阳光照在脸上的时候会很暖和,很想看妈妈的微笑,大声的叫我宝贝。想打电话给她只告诉她我想她了,她不在家。于是又很高兴自己没有打,这样没来由的想她,会让她猜到,担心我。
         其实我很好,我只是,只是有一点想家。
    May 28

    In between dreams MY JACK JOHSON

       Never have I imagined,there would be such a singer so matched my appetite.
       A man so cute,somehow more like a boy,but with all the wise I can understand,who also know the shortage of human,daydreming a little and believe in love.
       I just a little crazy about him.All I can write have no use to describe the tiny precious same in the deep of my soul. mabe just trying to.
       Some times his life seemed a little lazy,he would just lay down and enjoy his own frei feeling.
        The song named banana pancakes,which preferd to be heard in some raining days,making you just slow down and do whatever or do nothing.Just waiting thinking imaging.
        Can't u c that it's just raining?
        There ain't no need to go outside.
        ja,he,wit his lazy tone,asking love from his little lady,just because he want to lay here lazy.^_^can nobody so like a little boy acting like a pamperd child.He just repeat can't u see can't u see the rain.and the next second sleep in again,mumbled,I'll make u banana pancakes.but how could he make the delicious pancakes to his girl,maybe in the dreams.hehe However he could pretend,pretend outside is no world,pretend today is weekend.A little bit naughty to give himself a pretended vacation to lazy to ingnor every laut outside the soul.
    to find the real peace under the heart.
         Someothers are more like a story.
         If I could
         A brand new baby was born yesterday,just in time
         Papa cried, baby cried,said ur tears are like mine
         I heard some words from a friedn on the phone,didn't sound so good
         The doctor gave him two weeks to live
         I'd give him more if I could
     
         U konw that I would now
         If only I could
     
         Down the middle drops one more grain of sand
         They say that new life makes losing life easier to understand
         Words are kind they help ease the mind,I'll miss my old friend
         An though u've got to go we'll keep a piece of ur soul
         one goes out, one comes in
       
       The first few words making me smile to catch the delicate feeling of the papa,would my father have such the same thoughts wenn i came out? But suddenly then I was shocked,quiet a minite and then I understand,no father would say this,for they themselfs are not dying.Who gave us life,the docotor can absolutely not,but how can people say like this.I didn't remember from wenn I feel no good about the words"if only" it includes so much impractical illusion,so much unchangeable hoplessness.If nothing can do,I'd just let it go,even if it ist much pain. But I know that im deepst heart of mine there is still a tiny voice that told me not to give up.
       Situation
        Situation Nr 1,
        it's the one that's just begun
        But evidently it's oo late
     
       Situation Nr 2
       it's the only chance for you
       it's controlled by denizens of hate
     
      Situation Nr 3
      it's the one that no one sees
      it's all too often desmissed as fate
     
      Situation Nr 4
      it's the one that left u waiting more
      it tantalized u with it's bait
     
     the most liked!
    May 08

    超超超超超郁闷

       一大早7点45的高数课,一路上匆匆忙忙的赶到学校,下课的时候都走出教室了才突然发现tagesbuch丢了。又急急忙忙的回头去教室找。结果什么也没有。一下子本来不错的心情乱的七零八落。不知所措。
       仔细想想,在s-bahn的时候,还看了的。从s-bahn上来,因为急着上课,什么也不记得,只记得一个很和善的人塞给我一张支持罢工的宣传单。除了他的谢谢,我什么也记不得了。于是从原路走回去,走下s-bahn一路期待有人捡到,因为找不到失主,就随手放在路边。但是到处的地都好干净,什么也没有呢。于是又回教室找了一趟,还是没有。
       我从来不喜欢写自己的名字,所以tagesbuch上什么也没有。名字,住址,联系方式什么也没有。就算有人捡到也不知道还给谁,最后的下场就是垃圾箱吧。可是那对我是很重要的东西,有那么多上课重要的网址,professor的联系方式。这些都无所谓了,可以问同学再抄回来,可是一些我随意记下的心情,开心的事,2006年的愿望,和贾瑾一起画的很可爱的小动物,很多很多的东西,就突然不见了。可是我昨天晚上还看见它在沙发上,现在就已经猜不到它在哪了。也许掉在s-bahn上了吧。一直讨厌丢东西的感觉,更讨厌丢了找不回来的感觉。就象明明在过去留下了痕迹,却突然的消失不见。本来还想去vvs问一下失物招领。最后想想算了。丢了,既然找不回来,就顺其自然吧,过去了的心情也就过去了,还会有新的开心的事。我总是喜欢想把什么都记下来,什么都不忘记,就象以前上课的书,笔记怎么都不原意丢,就像纪念为此付出的努力,可是到最后搬家还是轻易的随手都丢掉了。
         以后再也不可以随手在本子上乱画了,在也不可以中,英,德夹杂的乱写了。
         写完blog心里也平静多了。还是忘了吧,估计就算老外看到了也不懂吧,其实我还是愿意tagesbuch被丢掉也不愿意别人看懂的。 也许以后我会怀念这本tagesbuch的。   
    May 07

    Mission Impossible

          10 年没去过电影院了.终于好好的看了一场电影.呵呵
         一直很喜欢电影院很挤的样子,大家一起笑,一起哭,一起尖叫.感觉好特别.
         呵呵电影的音效超大的,我总有本能的反应想把音量关小.不过震耳欲聋的感觉已经很就都没有了.
         很紧凑的故事情节,德语的我居然还是弄明白了整个阴谋.虽然之前冤枉了morphis,但是毕竟最后还是永远比较笨的反派自己把事情弄砸了.真的不明白,那么弱的反派还是有很多人追随呢??
         穿插的一点小的爱情故事,唯一让我觉得厉害的事是女主角一手无缚鸡之力的护士,居然在tom 倒下的时候,那么勇猛的开枪搞定了两个歹徒,转身射击的时候以及换弹夹的速度让人叹为观止啊.有特工潜质哦.
         而且被220的电弄到心脏停跳的可怜的tom居然在急救下没什么反映,最后被他老婆用拳头给打醒了诶.感叹一下,果然是爱情的力量呵呵.
         随便提一下,magieQ的好身材哦.
         那么总的来说,是一部不错的电影哦.
         最近好象有梦工厂的一部动画哦,感觉很不错,估计又会被翻译成什么什么总动员或者什么什么别动队拉,不过都是可爱的小动物哦.
         不过最近也有一个很恶心的恐怖片啊,里面的人被鼻涕虫样的东西弄的变的跟尸体没什么两样.还有一个可怜的女的变成巨大的球,跟房间一样大啊,好恶心的.害我昨天晚上还梦到了.....
         不过总的来说,是超开心的呢.
         期待达芬奇的密码哦 18号上映 .哈哈